We’ve all seen authenticity gaps in action. They often come in the form of a socialized phrase or normative behavior, like being asked ‘how was your day?’ by a stranger. But unlike low-stakes social interactions, when we communicate at work, authenticity gaps can have big consequences.

This is particularly true for leaders, but since I believe we’re all leaders in our own way, it’s made me really wary of these normative phrases. Without genuine care in our communications, we don’t center the audience, creating distance and eroding trust.

But where do authenticity gaps show up? They’re more common than you might want to believe! Let’s look at some examples, and how you can avoid them.

I hope this email finds you… at all.

My least-favorite, but one of the most common, is “I hope this email finds you well.” It’s meant in a well-meaning way, but can feel vague at best, and meaningless and inauthentic at worst.But when we lead with this phrase, we’re usually trying to soften our message, to say something in a way that attempts to acknowledge our shared humanity. It’s a little social ritual that can backfire. So what can you do about it?

Leave it out, or end with it.

You can leave it out, or leave it to the end. Depending on the context of your email, just getting to the key message can save everyone time. It can also lower cognitive load and prevent your audience holding onto a perception that’s less-than-positive.

You could also try writing as you speak. Would you say “I hope I find you well” if you met someone in the hallway? If you saw them on a meeting? If it feels weird to say out loud, then try writing what you would say to them. At least you’ll sound genuine!

And even better, putting your well-wishes at the end of the email can be helpful for information retention too. Stacking information — what journalists call the ‘inverted pyramid’ — can be extremely effective and helps everyone in our time-pressed work environments. Rather than your hope be a meaningless stepping stone to crucial information, putting this phrase (or similar) near the end means that the reader can get on with the core activity. In addition, putting your hope at the end of the email, rather than the beginning, can serve the purpose of leaving your audience with a genuine feeling of care, especially if you don’t use this well-worn phrase specifically. Wouldn’t that be a lovely feeling to have?

Try a different method.

There’s also the idea of trying a different method of communication, other than email. We get so many emails every day, it’s no wonder inbox zero is a delicious dream for a lot of people. If you can, why not choose a different method of communication? If they’re open to pop-ins, that can be lovely, and a phone call is sometimes much faster than an email. It’s worth considering.

A little more on this point: Email is often a default because we sometimes feel like we’re bothering people if we show up or call them. It’s okay to feel that way, but if it’s standing in the way of your best communication, it needs to be examined. This is true of every communication method — it’s only effective if the audience sees it at the right time, in the right headspace to receive your information, and then action it. Emails don’t do any good when they don’t lead to some kind of change for the audience; a new action, a different (hopefully positive!) feeling, a better way of doing things, something to learn.

Context is crucial, as usual.

As always, it’s important to be aware of the context of your channel and your message, as well as the social and cultural relationships in your workplace. Sometimes, you’re better served to go with the cultural norms, which might mean disregarding all of the advice above and using rote phrases. But it doesn’t have to; whenever humans are grouped together, we look to others for examples on how to behave, and sometimes things that aren’t advantageous get elevated to the organizational culture.

It’s worth remembering that authenticity in communications begins and ends with saying what we mean, and authority does too. If you want to be taken more seriously, as well as have a hand in creating more authentic, meaningful communications… that’s something you can be a part of. It can only forge stronger connections and culture for all our workplaces.